Three questions a bloke asks himself when buying clothes.  1. How much does it cost?  2. Under what circumstances will I wear it to the pub? and 3. Do I really need it – don’t my existing jeans/shirts/jumpers already serve this purpose?

Three questions a woman asks herself when buying clothes.  1. Do I have shoes to match? 2. Do I have a handbag to match and 3. How do I justify the purchase of said item if questioned by my husband/partner when he notices I’ve got something very similar in the wardrobe already?

The logical extension of this is that a bloke will never buy anything that can only be worn once.  Whether it is sporting clothing, work clothing, or casual clothing, each item is beautifully engineered to cover many eventualities. Cricket gear can, and indeed must, be worn to the pub.  Footy shorts make for ideal summer barbeque attire and work clothes, be they office suits or jeans and a shirt work as well at weddings or a visit to a friend’s house.  So where in this overall scheme does the modern multi-coloured kaftan dress fit?

Viewed from a woman’s perspective it is an invitation for a vast array of extravagant shopping expeditions.  The sheer number of colours alone goes a long way to justifying the purchase of shoes of many hues and styles – none of them cheap.  All of them conveniently matching more or less not quite exactly, leaving the door open for further expeditions.  With the State’s supply of shoes exhausted, there is then the question of accessories as alas none of the existing handbags in the cupboard could possibly go with the dress.  In the end the cost of airfares and accommodation pale into insignificance when compared to the clothing investment.  And how many times will this amazing garment get worn?  Precisely once.

Developing countries around the world can breathe a collective sigh of relief safe in the knowledge that what was once enough garish material on a factory floor to make a sizeable tent, that then became a garish tent-like dress, has now been retired after one outing to the recesses of the ever expanding wardrobe, never to see the light of day again.  Their jobs are safe for the next go-round of wedding attire construction.

The factory that makes footy shorts however know that their expertise will only be called upon once and that, whilst their workmanship may never be exclaimed, their ability to create multi-purpose garments is appreciated by men the world over.